Donnie. An atheist is someone who denies altogether the existence of God. You’re an agnostic. An agnostic is someone who believes that there can be no proof of the existence of God, but does not deny a possibility that God exists.
Allistics will never understand what it’s like to be autistic. They’ll never understand what it’s like to have a disability that affects literally everything you do, and the way you think about everything. They’ll never understand that each autistic person is completely different from the next and no one of us are the same. They’ll never understand what it’s like to not be able to stand certain feelings and textures, and what it’s like to be forced to touch them. They’ll never understand what it’s like to be the awkward kid, or the weird kid just because of your disability and how you function. They’ll never understand what it’s like to have an item beloved to you confiscated because it’s too “distracting.” They’ll never understand what it’s like to have to do little things to cope, like alienating yourself completely or stimming. They’ll never understand the fact that stimming is healthy for us and keeps us from being stressed. They’ll never understand how loud certain noises are to us and how awful it is to have to listen to them. They’ll never understand how stressful it is to not be able to come up with words or descriptions sometimes, especially in an important moment. Allistics will never understand how awful it is for people to say we weren’t listening when we were and their voice went through one ear and out the other, or just the simple fact that it’s hard to process what they’re saying. They’ll never understand how bothersome it is to randomly seemingly have our brain just partially shut down, and be flowing with creativity just after. They’ll never understand how truly mentally painful it is for us to just be bored. Allistics will never understand how important to us our arrangements and plans are. They’ll never understand why it’s such a big deal when schedules change, and quite frankly, neither do I. They’ll never understand the pain of not truly knowing who they are at least twice as long as them. They’ll never understand how important our needs are and why. They’ll never understand the difference between a special interest vs. an obsession or addiction and how important our special interests are. They’ll never understand that we aren’t “special,” we’re just different, and that we aren’t a burden. They’ll never understand our autism isn’t a tragedy, and it’s just how we live. We’re no inspiration simply for living, we’re inspiring because we have to deal with all the judgment and all the perpetuated stigma that goes on. But most of all, allistics will never understand how important the correct representation of us is, and how important it is for people to inform themselves of our disability.
Fellow autistics, feel free to add more.
Things I wish allistics would remember about autistic people
Social skills can be a foreign language to us: We can learn it, but what comes natural to you doesn’t come natural to us. Don’t call us rude if we prefer to be alone, don’t laugh at our social struggles, we’re trying, and any ableist reaction isn’t going to help us
What you can tolerate may be intolerable to us: We process things differently. We often can’t cope with certain sounds, too much visual information can drive us into overload. Certain textures can also be intolerable. We’re not exaggerating if we say something is too loud, we’re not lying if we can’t cope in a busy area
Meltdowns are not tantrums, and we may need time to shutdown: I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, meltdowns are not tantrums, we are not doing it intentionally. We are doing it as a fight-or-flight response. And likewise for shutdowns, don’t question if we go non-verbal, and please understand we may need time alone
Stimming is generally a coping mechanism: This is a trait commonly mocked by ableists. We use stimming as a way of coping. It may look weird to you, but we do it for many reasons. To keep us focused, to calm us down when feeling overloaded, to express emotion
Special interests aren’t weird or dangerous: If I had a penny for every time an allistic person implied my special interest was unhealthy and should be discouraged, I’d have quite a lot of pennies. It’s only weird to you because you don’t understand the joy it gives us. And you may worry that infodumping about one topic could discourage people from talking to us. I can’t speak for all autistic people on this, but I for one would rather be friends with someone who accepts my special interests, at least then I’m being myself
me, in my head: do you know what happens when we die? I think that our souls just dissolve into the entire world. Every atom of our being enters every molecule of everything else as we become one with the fabric of the universe. What do you think? Do you believe in the afterlife, or do you think we just cease to exist?
me, out loud: hhhhhhnh yeah why are you not listEning to me im hungry and want sushi hhsgiaggagiisg
Things I allow myself to do now that I know I’m autistic:
- stim more
- no smile unless I mean it
- have low ex days
- isolate myself properly
- say what I mean and not what I think people want to hear
- struggle (this one is so important) with driving/shopping/going to the bank etc without feeling shitty about myself
- cry more
Not masking feels so nice, but it’s sooo hard
Sometimes I think I get sarcasm
But then someone says something and I spend the next five days wondering if it was sarcastic or not
If you’re autistic, trust your gut instincts. If you don’t feel like going to a party, don’t go. If you don’t like someone but can’t figure out why, stay away from them. If you have a bad feeling about a situation, just stay away from it. There’s probably a good reason for it.
I hate it when you can’t tell the difference between self-care and avoiding responsibility…